Brown Sludge

An Open Letter To The Democratic Party

May 26th, 2006

Or…

How To Win Back Both Houses In 2006, and take the White House In 2008.

First, let me declare that I am a Conservative. For many, many years I punched a straight Republican ticket. For most of those years I was proud to call myself a Conservative Republican, and I was proud to support the GOP.

But in the last decade something has happened to my party, and I’m not so proud any more. I don’t punch a straight Republican ticket anymore, and my mouth no longer waters at the prospect of joining a hot debate with a poor uninformed liberal or tin-foil hat wearing libertarian.

You see… my party has lost it’s way. It is no longer the party of Barry Goldwater, or Ronald Reagan or even the party of Newt Gingrich for that matter.

Say what you wish about Gingrich, but you can never take away the fact that it was his vision and idealism and tenacity that promoted the wildly popular “Contract with America” that swept the Republicans into power in 1994.

In an interesting footnote to history, the “Contract with America”, although much maligned in the MSM (and denigrated by more than a few Republicans as well) stands as one of the few verifiable times in history that a party came to power on a platform of promises, and then turned around and *actually kept* those promises. One by one. On the record.

Not surprisingly, Newt was soon politically fragged by his own troops, and the seat of GOP power was seized by a rebel group that I call “Gordon Gekko Republicans”. These are men who care less about true grass-roots Conservative ideology, and more about money, and power. Much, much, much more.

These men, through their greed and short-sightedness and with the help of their treacherous conspirators on K-Street, in the last 10 years have, as Shakespeare put it - sold the Conservative ideal to slaughter, it’s princes and peers to servitude, it’s subjects to oppression and contempt, and it’s entire kingdom into desolation.

And they’ve had a lot of help.

Especially from rightward leaning bloggers who were bought and paid for by corporate interests and lobbyists, and the sniveling toadies who aided and abetted.

Enough.

I’ve had… Enough.

I want my party back.

At one point, I held out some hope that the GOP would eventually get their heads and their kiester’s wired together, but this spring permanently ended all optimism that I would ever have. I watched in horror while, in the midst of being embroiled in an ethics scandal that’s shock-waves have yet to completely subside - they still couldn’t keep themselves from electing a leader who reeked of corporate lobbyist.

Stank you very much.

Sadly, I have now come to believe that there is one, and only one way that Republicans and the GOP are ever going to reclaim their heritage as true Conservatives, and cease to become the shameful Gordon Gekko parody that they have become in recent years :

Complete and total annihilation in the coming elections. Burned to the ground in November. Not a majority left standing.

Only when they’ve had to sit impotent in the House and the Senate (again), as they watch helplessly while the sinister and contemptible wife of one of the most sinister and contemptible presidents in history is swept (back) into power will they be forced to take stock of their situation, and return to their roots in order to regain the support of a base they abandoned years ago.

So… although I agree with practically nothing you stand for or believe in, I’m hear to help you achieve this victory over what used to be my party.

It’s the only way.

Here’s how to wipe the Republicans off the face of the earth in November.

1. Stop focusing on abortion and gay rights as if they are the main planks in the Democratic platform.

Nobody is suggesting you give up your belief in a woman’s “right to choose” or abandon your acceptance of gays and lesbians. Nobody is suggesting you stop believing abortion is okay or that ‘gays are people too’. BUT – the UGLY truth is that these planks in your platforms are big losers with the American people. The VAST majority of American’s view abortion as the murder of an infant child, and the VAST majority of American’s aren’t okay with their children being indoctrinated into a homosexual lifestyle.

To that end, you should quit parading these issues out front as if they are the “end-all” and “be-all” of Democratic ideology.

Again… just to be clear, nobody is suggesting that you change the way you think or feel, only that perhaps holding these particular losing issues up as the mainstays of your parties ideology isn’t such a smart move from a popularity standpoint.

Once in power, the Republican’s can sit and watch in horror while y’all pass legislation making abortion available on every street-corner, and make high school courses on the acceptance of the homosexual lifestyle absolutely mandatory. In the meantime, just quietly move these planks to the back of the room as opposed to right up front in the foyer, at least until after the election.

2. There are millions of workers across the United States that have been displaced by the “off-shoring” of their jobs. APPEAL TO THEM

These aren’t just hard working blue-collar Union guys (who vote for y’all most of the time *anyway*), but millions of white-collar computer programmers, x-ray techs, medical professionals, banking industry workers and on an on. Millions of regular Joe’s who were victimized by Corporate America’s greed and short-sightedness. Many of them are REPUBLICANS who have been disenfranchised by the people who once told them that “greed” was “good” but are now wondering how they are going to feed their families. The Republicans have abandoned them in droves, and because there are no more true Conservatives in power, they have no home.

Promise them that you’ll do something about Corporate America’s insatiable greed, and promise them you’ll do something to stop Corporate America from selling the United States and their jobs to foreign governments, and then throw your doors wide open and let them in.

God knows the Republican’s aren’t going to do anything to staunch the flow of blood for them.

They’re yours for a song.

3. Stop making noises about impeachment and investigations.

The American people don’t want to hear it, and you’re hurting your cause far beyond anything the Republicans could ever do to you. The American people simple aren’t going to vote you into power if all you’re going to do with that power is gum up the works and spend millions of our hard earned tax dollars on vindictive garbage like hearings and investigations.

I’m sorry Bill Clinton was impeached, but while he diddled barely legal interns in the Oval Office, Osama Bin Laden went free and the Peoples Business didn’t get done. Get over it. In stead of showing the American people that your spiteful and vindictive, show them that you’re not going to waste the opportunity given to you to make a difference. Period.

4. Stop making noises about raising taxes.

After you’re in office you can tax us until Hell freezes over, and then tax the ice. The Republicans can watch in abject terror while y’all tax everything there is to tax and grow government into a gigantic money-eating monster. Just stop crowing about it until after you’re elected.

5. Position yourself as the protector of the American People.

As we speak, there are corporations large and small that are doing and selling terrible things and terrible ideas to the American consumer, and nobody, and I mean NOBODY is doing a thing about it.

There are countless products that are advertised on TV that claim to make you thin, or make you more well endowed or cure you of various things that everyone knows are simply frauds, yet they have multi million dollar advertisements on national television and nobody says a word.

There are other financial factions that are encouraging the American consumer to rack up thousands of dollars of debt or to turn all the equity in their home back into high interest debt or to abandon their stable, traditional home loans in favor of loans with bizarre riders and exotic mortgages that simply put are against everything a home owner traditionally strives for and nobody but NOBODY is standing up and saying a single word about how wrong this really is.

Corporate interests have taken over our lifesblood utility companies and are now holding us hostage with extortionary rates and driving down our incomes. What used to be negligible expenses for a home like water and trash pickup have, with the help of a willing legislature now been appropriated by the Gordon Gekko crowd, and are now being wrang out for big bucks.

Where once people paid a few dollars for gasoline, water, garbage pick up, and energy in general, people are now being forced to pay hundreds and hundreds of dollars to these people and nobody is stepping in to stop the madness.

People feel abandoned to these predators and have come to expect that nobody will do anything to these businesses to stop them.

The Republicans will DIE before they stand up to the business interests that drive their only real agenda. They’ve abandoned their Conservative roots and betrayed their base, they can no longer be trusted to do what’s good for people. They can only be counted on to do what’s right for Big Business regardless of the consequences to you or I.

The people desperately need a hero.

You could be it.

I want my party back.

Entry Filed under: The Right Has It Wrong