Brown Sludge

Brown Sludge Ate My Bike

March 15th, 2006

One of the main reasons I started The Brown Sludge Blog was because I wanted to illustrate to people how unrestrained corporatism cheapens and degrades everything it comes in contact with.

As I’ve described in other pieces here – Brown Sludge happens when something good and wholesome and authentic – becomes eaten and ground down and processed into the disgusting amalgam that all digested things become.

Today… I found out that the Brown Sludge Monster ate my bicycle.

I have struggled with my weight for many years. I’ve tried running (still do a little) but it’s incredibly hard on the joints and the bones and the infrastructure of the feet. Walking is nice on pretty days – but could never be considered anything but modest in terms of exercise value.

And then I discovered bicycling.

It was like I was born again.

Bicycling is an absolute good. It’s exercise value is immense – burning calories and strengthening muscles throughout your entire body. It’s easy on the joints and doesn’t pound your bones to dust in the process of making you healthy either.

There is another side to bicycling too – and I suppose it’s this ‘other side’ to the sport that I truly fell in love with – and that’s the metaphysical side of the bike. When I’m riding I experience a peacefulness and spiritual meditation that I never experienced wile running or jogging or swimming or any of the other things I’ve done to try to be more physically fit.

When your riding on a beautiful day in the country – far from the madness of work, or children, or life in general – and your surrounded by the beauty of nature and peacefulness of the trail – you find yourself actually able to think. Your mind mysteriously begins to spin-down. You suddenly find yourself centered – and emerging from the fog. You think about your life. You think about your faith. You have time to truly meditate on the things that are important to you.

When your riding with your friends or family or loved ones – you develop a sort of rhythm as you ride – and everyone comes together to share the rich experience that bicycling has to offer. It’s incredible.

Some of the most important moments that my daughter and I have ever shared – we shared while exploring some remote and stunningly beautiful part of a bicycle trail in rural Missouri.

Bicyclers are good people too. It’s just that simple.

I’ve been on hundreds of organized rides with local bicycling organizations and I’ve yet to meet a jerk. Every last one of ‘em are decent folks. If you stop your bike along the ride to rest – or take a drink – just about every last one of ‘em will ask you if you’re alright or need any help as they pass. Good people. Period.

The first bike I bought was a really nice trail bike.

It was made by the same company that made the first bike I ever owned when I was a very small boy.

Once known as the “Cadillac of Bicycles” the company that made the bike I rode in 1967 used to have a reputation for high caliber quality, and even though it was using imported frames by the time I bought my trail bike as an adult – it was still considered a very high quality brand.

It was only a couple of years after I bought my trail bike when I read that the company that had been a symbol of high quality bicycles since 1895 had sold the name to a bunch of corporate vultures which turned around and sold the name to a mass producer of craptastic junk upon which they now indiscriminately slap the once prestigious name to be sold at Big Box Marts for $49.99.

A once beautiful and authentic thing – was now a big stinking pile of… Brown Sludge.

When I moved up to a road bike a couple of years ago, I wanted to buy a bike made by an independent. I specifically didn’t want to buy from a big corporate entity. I was after something authentic. Something meaningful.

I chose a bike made by a company owned by a man who had won the Tour de France almost as many times as my personal hero Lance Armstrong. His company had a reputation for quality, and commitment to excellence.

As I was laying out the cash for my new bikes 4 figure price tag (cough) – I commented to the owner of the local bike shop where I purchased it how proud of myself I was for taking the time to research my purchase and make sure I bought a bike made by an authentic independent – and was brought up short when he snorted at me. When I asked him why the chuckle he sadly pointed out to me that the bike I had just bought was no longer made by the independent company whose name was so ornately painted on the side of it. It had in fact just been purchased by a huge corporation who had snapped up many of the best names in the bicycle making business – and were now mass producing them.

My heart sank.

Brown Sludge had eaten my bike.

Again…

Entry Filed under: Bicycle Sludge, Brown Sludge Explained