Brown Sludge

Independents Behaving Badly - Part I

February 6th, 2006

So… I’m sitting in a restaurant with my girlfriend – Pretty Jamie – and I’m looking over the menu in a locally owned, independent family enterprise which – as anyone who reads Brown Sludge knows I’m all about - when my eyes fall on the words “There Will Be An Extra Service Fee Charged For All Split Orders”.

My jaw drops open. I’m outraged by the idea that they would try to charge me if I wanted to split an order of pasta or a pizza with my date.

I vent my outrage to Pretty Jamie. She gives me her patented “What rock have you been hiding under all of your life” snork.

“I’ve seen this often.” She says. “Sometimes the fee is significant”.

“Define significant.” I say.

“Several dollars.” She replies dismissively – and her eyes return to the menu - she’s starving – and on the prowl for Crab-Cakes and “anything chocolate” for desert. You don’t keep Pretty Jamie waiting when the Crab-Cake Monkey is on her back. Her “Smoochability Index” is directly tied to the quality and quantity of crab-cakes and chocolate desert that I buy her for dinner. It’s hard but it’s true.

Still, I’m outraged. It seems like such a greedy and crappy thing to do to charge extra just because someone wants to split a plate. You would never see this sort of thing at a big chain restaurant.

Later that night – I drive past a Big Box pet store very near my home – and travel an extra 15 miles out of my way to stop at a locally owned and operated independent pet store – where the guy behind the counter will be rude to me twice.

Much of the mail I get here from apologist poseurs who don’t know the difference between Capitalism and Corporatism is of the “why should I support Mom and Pop shops when they are so often rude” variety.

I spend a great deal of time, and no small amount of money on this website and it’s content and it’s maintenance. I write many letters a month and devote a great deal of energy into promoting the patronization of local independent businesses. I volunteer and campaign for politicians who are independent friendly.

It’s easy to beat down intellectually dishonest people who have convinced themselves that “Greed” is a Family Value - but when detractors make the argument that Mom and Pop are often rude. I find myself unequipped to defend them as ardently as I would like.

Truth of the matter is – sometimes they are.

I believe that much of it stems from what I call the “Getting Rich Is Hard Work” paradigm. It shakes out like this:

Joe Average works 8 hours a day at a “regular job”. Maybe he’s a meat cutter. Maybe he’s a programmer. Maybe he works in a bakery. He goes in at 8. He comes home at 5. He makes maybe $45,000. If he’s sick – he takes the day off. If he’s burning out – he takes a couple of weeks of vacation. It’s a grind and the pay isn’t great, but it’s steady and when he goes to bed at night – he doesn’t waste a lot of sleep worrying about any big decisions.

Then he gets the bright idea to start his own business, and become one of the locally owned, independent enterprises that I dedicate so much of myself supporting.

He mortgages everything he has and goes into debt up to his eyeballs – and opens a meat-market, or a consulting firm, or a corner bakery.

Now… he’s working 18 hours a day – and only clearing about $35,000 after overhead and taxes. It doesn’t matter how sick and run down he gets because he absolutely has to be there to open the doors or he goes broke, and the idea of taking a vacation and leaving the business shuttered for two weeks is out of the question. And now when he goes to sleep at night he can’t close his eyes without seeing all the debt and not so great sales figures. Every major decision is his to make and suffer the consequences of.

That’s why he’s a crab-ass when you shop there.

That’s why sometimes they make grubby little greed-grabs like “service fees” they have no business charging for – or overcharging on items they know they are the only ones carrying.

That’s why sometimes they hire slack-jawed flunkies who don’t know their asses from their acne-scars to man the cash-register.

Because getting rich was a lot harder work than he expected it to be.

So – what should you do?

If you care about your country or your neighborhood – it’s hard to shop at a Big Box store – but when Mom and Pop are being jerks – what’s your move?

Simple really, turn on your heels and walk out. And be sure to give Mom and Pop a face-full as you go.

Make it clear to them that you went out of your way to patronize them. Make it clear to them that you passed several Big Box stores on your way to their shop – and that if you wanted to be grunted at by a slack-jaw that barely speaks English – or cheated at the cash-register or barked at by a crabby manager you could have stopped at any one of them. Make it clear to them that there is a gigantic predator on the loose outside their door – one that is hell-bent on eliminating them as competition – and the only thing stopping it from eating them alive are people like YOU who care enough to buy locally owned. Make it clear to them that Big Box Monster has 10 times their inventory at 2/3 of their cost – and that every customer they drive off brings that Monster one step closer to destroying the community.

As harsh as it sounds – independents who don’t treat their customers right or who greed-grub are no better than the Big Box Marts, and don’t deserve your patronization.

More on this soon.

Entry Filed under: General, Thoughts